In the hands of an editor?

As mentioned in my previous posting, my sister-in-law has some connections with Arkadas Kitabevi in Turkey, and a manager there mentioned that she thought the book would be interesting to this publisher.  On Monday, my sister-in-law, Neslihan, excitedly told me that an editor at the publisher wanted to see my full manuscript.  I quickly sent it, and it's now in the hands of an editor there.  Arkadas (pronounced /AR- KAH- DAH-SH/) means friend in Turkish.  What a nice name for a publishing house!  I think it would be an appropriately-named publisher to print a book that is, in part, about friendship.

Dear Neslihan is waiting on pins and needles for a response from the editor.  While I am excited and would love for a Turkish publisher to buy the translation rights for Turkey (as well as maybe the rights to the English version in Turkey), these things take a long time.  I'm sure my manuscript isn't the only one on that editor's desk.  For now, at least, I'm accepting the lack of response as long as it lasts because it's better than a form letter telling me how great my writing is but that they don't think the want to take it on.  Bring on the silence, arkadaslar!

Overwhelming day/week

Wednesday was crazy. 

First, I sold 9 books, with three more promised.  That may sound like ridiculously few, but as I've mentioned many times, my book does not have a fancy cardboard display at Barnes & Noble.  Every sale is to people I know.  On Tuesday night, I sent a message to the members of my international women's club (membership approximately 200), and 6 copies were requested.  I brought three extras, just in case someone saw my message, wanted a book, but didn't write back.  I sold the three extras, and could have sold at least 3 more if I'd had them.  This is so exciting to me - I don't even really know some of the members who bought books from me.  I hope that they enjoy it, and I cannot wait to hear their comments!

After picking up the kids from school, I took them to the local library.  While there, it occurred to me that I should ask them if they'd carry a copy of my book at the library if I donated.  What's the worst that could happen?  They could say no.  So, I asked.  And they said yes.  Simple as that.  It took me one minute to ask.  I was shocked that they said yes so easily.  Wow.  So, now my book holds a place at the Gemeindebucherei Feldkirchen. 

When we got home, there was a message from my sister-in-law, Neslihan, that I only partially understood, but I knew that it had something to do with my book.  Long story short, she and my brother-in-law, Samim, appear to have talked about my book with someone who has connections to the publishing industry in Turkey, and that someone knows someone who may be interested in publishing it in Turkey!!!  Who knows if anything will come of this - in the publishing industry, you must really put up your defenses because of the huge amount of rejection that you inevitably receive.  So I do not have my hopes up, but if something does come of it, we'll definitely have to open up some champagne.

Other things happening this week:

I may get an opportunity to do a reading of my book at The Munich Readery, the largest English-language second-hand bookstore in Germany. 

The Turkish American Association of Washington has received a copy of my book and may recommend it to its Turkish language and culture students.

A local cafe has offered to carry copies of my book :)

The first author I wrote to (see previous post) wrote me back.  Seriously, write to authors whose books you have enjoyed.  

I feel like there was something else, too, but in short, things are moving.  It's exciting.  I think I'm going to make some business cards! :)

If you read my book, please let me know what you think, and write a review on Amazon!! :)))

What word describes how I feel?

There must be a word that describes how I feel, but I can't seem to find it.  Maybe the word doesn't exist in English.  Here's the situation: I convinced myself that I didn't need something (because it seemed that it didn't need me), and now it has appeared and told me that it might, indeed, be interested in me.  What is this thing?  "It" is an agent.  I have been sending queries off and on for about two years now, and while there have been a few that expressed interest, most have not.  My most recent round of querying was the most disappointing, with rejection after form rejection.  It was disheartening enough to encourage me to explore the self-publishing route.  As I started the process, the rejections continued to trickle in, and they didn't hurt as badly as the ones that had come before I considered self-publishing as an option.  I had the publishing process of my book in my control.  I got to design my cover, choose the font, and select the spine color.  I started this blog, and wrote about how much I liked self-publishing more than I would have liked going the route of traditional agent-represented publishing.

Well, last night at around 11pm, I checked my e-mail one last time before heading off to bed.  There was an e-mail with Re: Query in the subject line.  Another rejection, I assumed.  I opened the e-mail and was really shocked to read that it was not a rejection.  An actual agent, one I had hand-picked as a good match for this book, was interested in seeing the full manuscript.  Meredith Barnes of Lowenstein Associates wanted to see more.  Now, I know that this is not an offer of representation, but it could lead to that.

What is it called when you convince yourself that you don't want something because you can't get it, and then it becomes possible and you aren't sure if you really don't want it or if you were just consoling yourself because you couldn't get it?  If there is not a word for that, there should be.

And that is how I feel right now.  I feel ambivalent.  I admit that I have thoroughly enjoyed parts of the self-publishing experience.  I am putting a lot of effort into promoting my book, and I think that I will ultimately reach the correct audience for it.  But when it comes to getting it into actual bookstores, I am more helpless, especially given that my book is in English and I don't live in an English-speaking country.  I don't have a big publisher on my side, helping out with its connections and glossy promotional materials.  I don't have many connections in the foreign-rights department, even though I think my book would do really well in translation, particularly in Turkey and in parts of Europe with lots of Turkish immigrants (Germany, Austria, etc...).

I'm going to write back to Ms. Barnes and send my manuscript, per her request.  But I will also tell her that I'm on the eve of the official release of my book - I have a large list of addresses to which I'll send my press release as soon as the e-book appears on Apple iBooks.  (Dear Apple, if you're listening, you shouldn't bother allowing self-publishing if you make it so darn difficult for us to upload our content.  We own two apple computers but they are too old, in your opinion, to let me upload my content.  So my dear brother is tearing his hair out trying to do it for me on his newer Apple.  I'm not sure that is going to create user loyalty.)  Ms. Barnes may immediately lose interest in my manuscript, once I've told her that I have self-published it.  If she does, I guess I'll have to continue trying to convince myself that self-publishing is what I really want...